Columbus Day
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ☆
Columbus Day (Expeditionary Force, Book 1) by Craig Alanson
The audiobook is the only acceptable experience. 🎧
This was supposed to be a background book. White noise to fill the void while doing other things, or while I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep. It wasn’t supposed to matter if I missed half a chapter after falling asleep in the middle of it, because this wasn’t a book I intended on caring about.
But of course, R. C. Bray just had to be the best narrator in the business. Nay, the best performer in the business. Every book he reads is elevated by his very presence. That unusual blend of raspy and nasally is somehow one of the most beautiful, easy to listen to voices ever. Absolute legend 👑.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot there’s a story here. Meh, it was okay. A cardboard cutout of countless other interstellar war stories, with heavy Starship Troopers vibes. The All-American grunt’s story as they journey through a war they didn’t start, but feels obligated to fight. This all too generic approach to the story bleeds into the characters themselves, leaving them rather bland and unmemorable. I’m writing this review several months removed from reading it, and don’t remember any of them.
Except for Skippy.
Skippy is awesome, and hilarious, and awesomely hilarious. The million-year-old, smart-ass beer can of an A.I. that’s been waiting for a “stupid monkey” to do the bidding of its self-proclaimed godly whims. Skippy absolutely makes this book. He’s hilarious, clever, and somehow still lovable. Skippy single-handedly transforms this story from mediocre sci-fi into something fun, his banter with the protagonist is reason enough to keep listening.
Bottom line: if you're going to give Columbus Day a shot, audiobook is the ONLY way to do it. 🎧
